
I am not listening to “E” because what he’s saying is brilliant or insightful, I am listening to him because most of the time I am rendered speechless by his “alleged” voice of reason. (For those of you who don’t know, “E” is my teenage son). Anywho, it was Saturday night, and we had just gotten in, (me from playing taxi to him and his friends, him from youth group, basketball, and bowling). I retired to my office for about an hour or so to answer some emails and finish a writing project. “E” on the other hand, I thought would shower and retire to bed. Evidently, he traded sleep for brainstorming because he was waiting to talk when I emerged from my office. Not really in mom-mode, I figured I would entertain his “talk” by simply putting the “yes and no” in the proper place, so I could go to bed already. Don’t take that the wrong way readers, I knew he didn’t want anything important, I assumed he just wanted to brag some more about his 130 bowling game that he was so proud of. Boy was I wrong!
I joined him in the living room for this “talk”, which went a little something like this,
E: Mom, when can we go to the mall to buy my Father’s Day outfit?
Me: Huh?
E: My Father’s Day outfit?! You know it’s coming up, right?! I need a new outfit!
Me: (Trying to find, and use, my nice voice) What entitles you, a child, to a new outfit for Father’s Day?
E: Because I’m the reason, you’re a father, Mom! I should be celebrated!
Mom: (Rendered speechless, got up and retired to her bedroom. Leaving E and his logic right where they were!)
I really, really, can’t make this stuff up.